Exposed

What are your deepest fears?

Well, I'll be frank, I tend to care what people think - silly me right. But wait, there's more to it. See when I usuallytell people this, they look at me all crazy, O_o <--- Yea like that - & I'm crazy -_- 

In the light poetic self explanatory words of Kevin Hart, Let Me Explain. The fact that I do care, goes for beyond that statement itself meaning it's left for various interpretations, but I'll be specific. I use to think it was a bad thing so I lied & told myself, "I don't care what people think", "fvck what people think" and this is the mindset most adopt, but it's a filtered lie.

Nobody likes criticism, but for someone unknown reason everyone's an expert critic - interesting - now people will judge, bully, point, stare and question your total existence for a period of time - harsh, but true. But where do these experts get there false truths from? Well it really just depends on that person, with that being said.

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"Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality & dreams. People will always have an opinion according to their own belief system, so nothing they think about you is really about you , but more about them. So don't take ANYTHING personally"- Author, Miguel Ruiz

See as I've matured I come to accept that I will always care for what people think & say, but what I don't care for now is what the negative, closed minded, ignorant (and the list goes on) think. Now, those who have something for me to learn from, YES, those who have far more knowledge and wisdom, than I, YES, those who have my best interest in mind, OF COURSE.

 

Throughout time I have again and again redefined what this "caring what people think of me" was because at a point it was the one thing always holding me back from all the things I've dreamed & wished of doing. IT WAS MY BIGGEST FEAR

But trying to convince myself that I didn't give a F*** was a lie, a lie to cover the pain, a lie to shield myself, a lie that was polar opposite of the truth and I don't know about you but I despise lies because they always seem to catch up to you.  So I took my mask off, because when we lie it usually implies we fear something and as much as I hate a lie I can't stand a bvtch named FEAR, so I choose to care, I choose to give a fvck but only on my terms now. 

P.S. PARENTAL ADVISORY